I came to treasure the way my friend lit up when I entered the the room. Morrie did this for many people, I know, but it was his special talent to make each visitor feel that the smile was unique.
"Ahhhh, its my friend," he would say when he saw me, in that foggy, high-pitched voice. And it didn't stop with the greeting. When Morrie was with you, he was really with you. He looked you straight in the eye, and he listened as if you were the only person in the world. How much better would people get along if their first encounter each day were like this, ....instead of a grumble from a waitress or a bus driver or a boss?
"I believe in being fully present," Morrie said. "That means you should be with the person you're with. When I'm talking to you now, Mitch, I try to keep focused on what is going on between us. I am not thinking about something we said last week. I am not thinking of what's coming up this Friday. I am not thinking about doing another Koppel show, or about what medications I'm taking.
"I am talking to you. I am thinking about you."
I remembered how he used to teach this idea, back in the day. Learning to pay attention? How important could that be?
I now know it is more important than almost everything they taught us in college.
"Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry," Morrie said. "People haven't found meaning in their lives, so they're running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running."
"Once you start running, I said, it's hard to slow yourself down."
A lot of us are great at small talk.
"How's it going? What have you been up to?"
But really listening to someone,..without trying to sell them something, without trying to recruit them, or get some kind of status in return....how often do we do this?
When was the last time, that we REALLY listened to someone? That you really paid attention to someone that you care about?
Book: "Tuesdays with Morrie"
- Mitch Albom
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